|Can I be Touched?
Will I let you Dare?
Am I Desired,
Oh touch, oh Touch
See Within and
Grace to Be and
Courage to Live,
Will I be Touched?
(B.R. Blatchley, Summer 2013)
|Who does not struggle with their bodies and being loved? We all want to be attractive inside and out, to be loved for ourselves despite our flaws, real or perceived.
I was thinking of this recently, of how these basic longings acquire a difficult twist for we of transgender experience:
Sex and gender are so fundamental to ourselves as people, and most others cannot imagine that they can be different, that they can be different in the same person!
Who will love us for who we are? Who will share a time, maybe a lifetime with us? Who would choose us? Who would give to us as we would give to them?
What if they love us and then learn we are trans?
What if we tell them we are trans up front?
Can they bear the shock? Can we bear their shock? Can they love us though our bodies may not be what they expect, what society expects? Can they love us as persons and not a sexual object, a toy, a fetish?
If they risk to love us, what do they think it “makes” them? Who says? Is this really important?
If we risk to love them, will it all come down upon us in rejection? Inevitably? How soon? Can we bear a broken heart again?
And if we’ve had surgery – “perfect” in ways visible and invisible:
Do we share this?
Must we share this?
Are we unlovable because we are trans? Are people unlovable because they are handicapped, because they are of a different race, religion, sex? Are people unlovable because they are…different?