Will I Be Touched?

Can I be Touched?
Will I let you Dare?
Am I Desired,
Even There?

Oh touch, oh Touch
Thou art Aware!
Oh care, oh Care,
For I am Fair?

See Within and
Look Without!
Is there Beauty
From my soul About?

Grace to Be and
Grace to Move!
Together United,
Is this now True?

Courage to Live,
Now free to Be,
Who now will See
That I am Me?

Will I be Touched?
Even There?
Desired?
Embraced?
Thou now Aware?

(B.R. Blatchley, Summer 2013)

In love on a rainy afternoon

Who does not struggle with their bodies and being loved? We all want to be attractive inside and out, to be loved for ourselves despite our flaws, real or perceived.

I was thinking of this recently, of how these basic longings acquire a difficult twist for we of transgender experience:

Sex and gender are so fundamental to ourselves as people, and most others cannot imagine that they can be different, that they can be different in the same person!

Who will love us for who we are? Who will share a time, maybe a lifetime with us? Who would choose us? Who would give to us as we would give to them?

What if they love us and then learn we are trans?

What if we tell them we are trans up front?

Can they bear the shock? Can we bear their shock? Can they love us though our bodies may not be what they expect, what society expects? Can they love us as persons and not a sexual object, a toy, a fetish?

If they risk to love us, what do they think it “makes” them? Who says? Is this really important?

If we risk to love them, will it all come down upon us in rejection? Inevitably? How soon? Can we bear a broken heart again?

And if we’ve had surgery – “perfect” in ways visible and invisible:

Do we share this?

Must we share this?

Are we unlovable because we are trans? Are people unlovable because they are handicapped, because they are of a different race, religion, sex? Are people unlovable because they are…different?


Some of us have been killed by our romantic interest when they learned we were trans. Here is a report, some well known summaries and a more personal look.

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2 thoughts on “Will I Be Touched?

  1. I love this write. Thank you for putting these feeling into word for others to see. The poem is a master piece. ❤ ❤ ❤

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